Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Did you know you could burn fat by laughing? A study at Vanderbilt University showed you could lose up to 50 fat by laughing 10-15 minutes a day.  When laughing, people burned 20% more calories. Laughter has other condition benefits that include stress reduction, immune ideas boosting, natural pain relief and increased blood flow (good for the heart) - no joking either.

Sadly your sense of humor is one of the first things that you lose on a diet. Let's try to remedy that. Enjoy some humorous thoughts and do a slight laughercising.

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Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Laughing burns off fat so everyone needs a giggle.... Some more than others.

Don't Eat That!

Forget Liposuction - Try Lip Obstruction!

Eat your food while staring into a mirror.... Totally naked!

Carry Large Helium Balloons

When eating donuts - only eat the center part.

Weigh yourself with only one foot on the scale.

Keep a pit bull in the kitchen

Use Parental Block for the Food Network on your Tv - Eat Pin Number/Password.

Eat your food with one chopstick

Lmao is a great way to sacrifice weight in the hindquarters.

Don't eat your evening meal before breakfast

Ladies - Drop 5 lbs. Instantly! Let go of your purse.

Instead of carrying your laptop colse to - start carrying your desktop Pc.

Attach Full-Length Mirror to your Refrigerator Door.

Hang your bikini on the refrigerator.... Definitely don't do that if you are a guy.

Remove wheels from your grocery cart.

When weighing yourself on the scale - try to defy gravity.

Use Superglue As Lip Gloss

Only eat food that you can catch & kill with a toothpick

Don't burn off fat with a candle.... A blow torch will work quicker.

Like the silent tree falling in the forest.... Food well has no fat if no one sees you eating it

Cut back on your food intake if you weigh more than your refrigerator.

50 Lb. Cellphones

Do 600 Tweets per hour. Move over 6 pack abs.... 6 pack fingers is the new rage (Note - Only Twitter users may get that one)

Unfollow some fat (another Twitter-related one that may go over your head)

If you can't speak the ingredients.... You probably shouldn't eat it.

Swap supper dishes with your pet - Kibbles n' Bits & slight Friskies make great appetite suppressants.

Eat that prime rib roast with a straw

Set a goal to lose as much weight as your stock portfolio has done in the last year.

Running to the refrigerator is not determined exercise.

Running to the refrigerator is not determined exercise.... Unless it is a enchanting refrigerated truck.

You know you're overweight when your computer tells you that your @ is too big.

If you work at home.... Walking to work should not be determined as daily exercise.

Exercise or Exorcism - both are designed to beat the hell out of you!

Hopefully you are losing weight & dropping fat at this very moment. You can enjoy more quotes for your dieting soul at Funny Weight Loss Tips. Laughter should be on everyone's menu.... It tastes delicious!

Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

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Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

Rock or White-throated Monitor Varanus albigularis
Svl 400-500mm; max. Svl 850mm, Tl 1 750mm.

This very large, stout lizard has strong, stocky limbs and sharp claws. The skin is tough and covered with small, bead-like scales in 110-167 rows at midbody. The head has a bulbous snout, with the nostrils slit-like and nearer to the eyes than to the end of the snout. The tail is longer than the body and cylindrical at the base but compressed towards the tip. The back is dark grey-brown above, with 5-6 pale yellow dark-edged blotches. The top of the head and neck are dark brown. The limbs are spotted with pale yellow, and the tail is banded in dark brown and off-white. The belly is dirty yellow with scattered spots. Juveniles are more intensely marked, and despite the tasteless name which refers to the white throat of adults, have blackish throats.

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Biology and Breeding

Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

This monitor lives in a tunnel that it digs under rock overhangs, or in a disused animal burrow, a hole in a tree or a rock crack. It is normally solitary and hibernates, semi-dormant in its recession in winter. Its skin is normally dulled with dirt and grime, and sullied with patches of unshed skin. It is also well-adorned with ticks in the soft skin nearby the eyes, nostrils and limb joints. The diet consist mainly of invertebrates (millipedes, beetles, grasshoppers and land snails) although it will kill and eat any animal small adequate to swallow and also scavenges on carrion; baby tortoises are often eaten. In defence it adopts a side-on posture and lashes its tail. It will bite and hold on like a bulldog; if held behind the head it normally ejects it cloacal contents, and finally it may sham death, hanging limp (but still holding its eyes open). If this ruse works and it is releases, it scampers to protection at the first opportunity.

The martial eagle (wingspan 188-227 cm (6.17-7.45 ft) and ratel are main predators on adults.

It rarely tames in captivity and because of its size needs a large enclosure. The flesh is reported to taste like chicken, but this monitor is protected by Provincial legislation (Cites, Appendix 11). They are great wanderers and may have home ranges up to 28sq km.

Mating occurs in August-September. The female may occasionally lay her eggs in a live termite nest, as does the Nile monitor, or even in a hollow tree, but normally uses a hole dug in soft moist soil. She may dig several 'test holes' before choosing a favorable spot. In early summer (October-November) from eight to 51 eggs (53-61 x 35-39 mm, 32-46g) are laid, depending on the size of the female. The eggs hatch in 110-120 days in captivity (27C), but take much longer in the wild. Hatchlings part 220-282mm Tl and weigh 18-21g. Many clutches are eaten by the banded mongoose.

Habitat & Range

Savannah and moister karroid areas. Throughout the Savannah and semi-desert regions of the subcontinent, but absent from W. Cape. Elsewhere, to the Savannah of East Africa.

Subspecies

Only the typical race occurs on the subcontinent. It has 137-167 midbody scale rows and white throat in adults. A poorly defined race, V.a. Angolensis, from Angola and adjacent Nw Zambia, has large scales on the head and along the backbone, and retains the black throat in adults. It has only 110-138 midbody scale rows. A small species V. Exanthematicus from the West African Savannah's has a more uniform colour pattern, lacks the white throat, and has enlarged scales on the back on of the neck and only 75-100 midbody scale rows; it is now treated as a isolate species.

Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

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Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

Archimedes of Syracuse, (c. 287 to 212 Bc), a scientist, mathematician and reputed coiner of the word Eureka! developed the principle of buoyancy. It states that an object immersed in a liquid is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the liquid displaced by the object. On a small scale, a 1 carat diamond displaces 200 milligrams. On a much larger scale the 30,000 ton Rms Oceanic launched in 1899 displaced 30,000 tons of seawater.

Analytical balances are used in laboratories not only to weigh small quantities but also, with the use of density estimation kits, to surmise the density of liquids and solids. Depending on the particular model these precision instruments have a maximum weighing range of 83 to 320 grams and readout of 0.1 milligram. This makes them eminently suitable for density estimation exercises. Once programmed the analytical equilibrium exhibits the density or exact gravity on its large liquid crystal display. Data can be transferred to a Pc or printer using an Rs 232 interface for record-keeping.

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Setting up a Density estimation Kit

Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

Cotton gloves should be worn by laboratory technicians setting up and operating a density estimation set. This is because oil on fingers can replacement to the object being studied and affect weight, and because oil can cause bubbles as small as 1 mm3 that can increase buoyancy on small specimens, resulting in a reading error.

Different analytical balances will have distinct procedures for density determination, so instructions should be carefully followed. Many balances can be programmed to portion solids or liquids. Here is a brief on setting up the equilibrium for density determination:

1. Turn off the analytical equilibrium and disconnect it from its power source.

2. Remove the equilibrium grading ring, weighing plate and platform.

3. Place the density estimation kits weighing platform and vertical rack assembly into the weighing area of the balance. The rack assembly supports a sample dish used when weighing in air and a suspended mesh sample holder for weighing in liquid.

4. Center the kits glass beaker platform over the weighing platform in such a way that it does not touch the weighing platform and Center the beaker on its platform.

5. carefully install the weighing platform assembly consisting of the sample dish and mesh sample holder so that it is suspended in the beaker, then install the thermometer.

The analytical equilibrium may then be associated to its power provide and density calculations can hike by following the education manual.

Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

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