Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Did you know you could burn fat by laughing? A study at Vanderbilt University showed you could lose up to 50 fat by laughing 10-15 minutes a day.  When laughing, people burned 20% more calories. Laughter has other condition benefits that include stress reduction, immune ideas boosting, natural pain relief and increased blood flow (good for the heart) - no joking either.

Sadly your sense of humor is one of the first things that you lose on a diet. Let's try to remedy that. Enjoy some humorous thoughts and do a slight laughercising.

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Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

Laughing burns off fat so everyone needs a giggle.... Some more than others.

Don't Eat That!

Forget Liposuction - Try Lip Obstruction!

Eat your food while staring into a mirror.... Totally naked!

Carry Large Helium Balloons

When eating donuts - only eat the center part.

Weigh yourself with only one foot on the scale.

Keep a pit bull in the kitchen

Use Parental Block for the Food Network on your Tv - Eat Pin Number/Password.

Eat your food with one chopstick

Lmao is a great way to sacrifice weight in the hindquarters.

Don't eat your evening meal before breakfast

Ladies - Drop 5 lbs. Instantly! Let go of your purse.

Instead of carrying your laptop colse to - start carrying your desktop Pc.

Attach Full-Length Mirror to your Refrigerator Door.

Hang your bikini on the refrigerator.... Definitely don't do that if you are a guy.

Remove wheels from your grocery cart.

When weighing yourself on the scale - try to defy gravity.

Use Superglue As Lip Gloss

Only eat food that you can catch & kill with a toothpick

Don't burn off fat with a candle.... A blow torch will work quicker.

Like the silent tree falling in the forest.... Food well has no fat if no one sees you eating it

Cut back on your food intake if you weigh more than your refrigerator.

50 Lb. Cellphones

Do 600 Tweets per hour. Move over 6 pack abs.... 6 pack fingers is the new rage (Note - Only Twitter users may get that one)

Unfollow some fat (another Twitter-related one that may go over your head)

If you can't speak the ingredients.... You probably shouldn't eat it.

Swap supper dishes with your pet - Kibbles n' Bits & slight Friskies make great appetite suppressants.

Eat that prime rib roast with a straw

Set a goal to lose as much weight as your stock portfolio has done in the last year.

Running to the refrigerator is not determined exercise.

Running to the refrigerator is not determined exercise.... Unless it is a enchanting refrigerated truck.

You know you're overweight when your computer tells you that your @ is too big.

If you work at home.... Walking to work should not be determined as daily exercise.

Exercise or Exorcism - both are designed to beat the hell out of you!

Hopefully you are losing weight & dropping fat at this very moment. You can enjoy more quotes for your dieting soul at Funny Weight Loss Tips. Laughter should be on everyone's menu.... It tastes delicious!

Laugh Away calories - Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes

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Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

Rock or White-throated Monitor Varanus albigularis
Svl 400-500mm; max. Svl 850mm, Tl 1 750mm.

This very large, stout lizard has strong, stocky limbs and sharp claws. The skin is tough and covered with small, bead-like scales in 110-167 rows at midbody. The head has a bulbous snout, with the nostrils slit-like and nearer to the eyes than to the end of the snout. The tail is longer than the body and cylindrical at the base but compressed towards the tip. The back is dark grey-brown above, with 5-6 pale yellow dark-edged blotches. The top of the head and neck are dark brown. The limbs are spotted with pale yellow, and the tail is banded in dark brown and off-white. The belly is dirty yellow with scattered spots. Juveniles are more intensely marked, and despite the tasteless name which refers to the white throat of adults, have blackish throats.

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Biology and Breeding

Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

This monitor lives in a tunnel that it digs under rock overhangs, or in a disused animal burrow, a hole in a tree or a rock crack. It is normally solitary and hibernates, semi-dormant in its recession in winter. Its skin is normally dulled with dirt and grime, and sullied with patches of unshed skin. It is also well-adorned with ticks in the soft skin nearby the eyes, nostrils and limb joints. The diet consist mainly of invertebrates (millipedes, beetles, grasshoppers and land snails) although it will kill and eat any animal small adequate to swallow and also scavenges on carrion; baby tortoises are often eaten. In defence it adopts a side-on posture and lashes its tail. It will bite and hold on like a bulldog; if held behind the head it normally ejects it cloacal contents, and finally it may sham death, hanging limp (but still holding its eyes open). If this ruse works and it is releases, it scampers to protection at the first opportunity.

The martial eagle (wingspan 188-227 cm (6.17-7.45 ft) and ratel are main predators on adults.

It rarely tames in captivity and because of its size needs a large enclosure. The flesh is reported to taste like chicken, but this monitor is protected by Provincial legislation (Cites, Appendix 11). They are great wanderers and may have home ranges up to 28sq km.

Mating occurs in August-September. The female may occasionally lay her eggs in a live termite nest, as does the Nile monitor, or even in a hollow tree, but normally uses a hole dug in soft moist soil. She may dig several 'test holes' before choosing a favorable spot. In early summer (October-November) from eight to 51 eggs (53-61 x 35-39 mm, 32-46g) are laid, depending on the size of the female. The eggs hatch in 110-120 days in captivity (27C), but take much longer in the wild. Hatchlings part 220-282mm Tl and weigh 18-21g. Many clutches are eaten by the banded mongoose.

Habitat & Range

Savannah and moister karroid areas. Throughout the Savannah and semi-desert regions of the subcontinent, but absent from W. Cape. Elsewhere, to the Savannah of East Africa.

Subspecies

Only the typical race occurs on the subcontinent. It has 137-167 midbody scale rows and white throat in adults. A poorly defined race, V.a. Angolensis, from Angola and adjacent Nw Zambia, has large scales on the head and along the backbone, and retains the black throat in adults. It has only 110-138 midbody scale rows. A small species V. Exanthematicus from the West African Savannah's has a more uniform colour pattern, lacks the white throat, and has enlarged scales on the back on of the neck and only 75-100 midbody scale rows; it is now treated as a isolate species.

Rock or White Throated Monitor Varanus Albigularis

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Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

Archimedes of Syracuse, (c. 287 to 212 Bc), a scientist, mathematician and reputed coiner of the word Eureka! developed the principle of buoyancy. It states that an object immersed in a liquid is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the liquid displaced by the object. On a small scale, a 1 carat diamond displaces 200 milligrams. On a much larger scale the 30,000 ton Rms Oceanic launched in 1899 displaced 30,000 tons of seawater.

Analytical balances are used in laboratories not only to weigh small quantities but also, with the use of density estimation kits, to surmise the density of liquids and solids. Depending on the particular model these precision instruments have a maximum weighing range of 83 to 320 grams and readout of 0.1 milligram. This makes them eminently suitable for density estimation exercises. Once programmed the analytical equilibrium exhibits the density or exact gravity on its large liquid crystal display. Data can be transferred to a Pc or printer using an Rs 232 interface for record-keeping.

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Setting up a Density estimation Kit

Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

Cotton gloves should be worn by laboratory technicians setting up and operating a density estimation set. This is because oil on fingers can replacement to the object being studied and affect weight, and because oil can cause bubbles as small as 1 mm3 that can increase buoyancy on small specimens, resulting in a reading error.

Different analytical balances will have distinct procedures for density determination, so instructions should be carefully followed. Many balances can be programmed to portion solids or liquids. Here is a brief on setting up the equilibrium for density determination:

1. Turn off the analytical equilibrium and disconnect it from its power source.

2. Remove the equilibrium grading ring, weighing plate and platform.

3. Place the density estimation kits weighing platform and vertical rack assembly into the weighing area of the balance. The rack assembly supports a sample dish used when weighing in air and a suspended mesh sample holder for weighing in liquid.

4. Center the kits glass beaker platform over the weighing platform in such a way that it does not touch the weighing platform and Center the beaker on its platform.

5. carefully install the weighing platform assembly consisting of the sample dish and mesh sample holder so that it is suspended in the beaker, then install the thermometer.

The analytical equilibrium may then be associated to its power provide and density calculations can hike by following the education manual.

Determining Density by Using an Analytical equilibrium

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Usps First Class Mail - A Cheap choice

Sending prominent mails and packages are no longer precious via accessing the First Class mail service of the United States Postal Service. But then, your item must not exceed the weight of 13 ounces. The items sent via First Class category will reach the recipient's address at roughly two to three days. For your delivery confirmation, you can purchase it at only

You need to secure the materials that you are going to utilize. You need to have your printer, postage scale, printer, large envelopes, and computer. Computer and printer are secondary items, though.The first step involves using your postage scale, weigh the items that you will send out. This is essential to make sure that they are within the required limit of 13 ounces.

.18 at the official website of United States Postal Service. There are confident process that you need to supervene in utilizing the First Class Mail service:

Then, box your items safely. Next step is to print the postage from the official website of the United States Postal Service. Then, put your mail in your mailbox and never fail to raise the flag to warn the letter carrier people that you have fresh mails inside.

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You have three options in obtaining your shipping supplies. One is through the official site of Usps and the other one is by going directly to the post office in your locality. an additional one option is you can cordial give a check to your mail-carrier and let them purchase you postage stamps from the post office. Be sure to state the estimate of stamps you need.

The Usps provides numerous services to the consumers in order to give you flexibility and efficiency as well as affordability in sending mails and packages over the globe.

Usps First Class Mail - A Cheap choice

Usps First Class Mail - A Cheap choice

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curative Scales ability in treatment

The healthcare professionals need to keep a constant monitor on the patients in their care, in order to talk in time to any complications along the way, but also in assessing the patients effectively and establishing if the medicine is working. In order for the doctor to be strict in his treatment, he needs strict facts about the patient and the health of their health. The weight of the patient, one of a few good markers for vitality and health, can alert a doctor to problems occurring within the body or developing in the body.

Choosing the strict scale is crucial, it is a primary speculation to make, and it is hinging on the application of the scale. Knowing how and where the scale is used, along with the strict scale for the application it is intended for, will not only benefit the personnel working with the strict healing scale, but also more importantly the patients for whom the service is there in the first place. The high degree of precision in healing scales is not that of a bathroom scale that reads an assumed weight.

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Medical weighing scales are advances, very sophisticated, scientific measuring instruments for the pro environment of health care and healing practice. A Seca scale for example would portion your actual and exact weight, unlike a base bathroom scale that gives you in reality a blundering guess at an average. By definition, exact weight refers to two things influencing the portion of your weight at that moment, namely the Intrinsic Error Limit and the resulting Influencing Limit. In basic terms, this means you will never be a steady exact same weight every time you climb onto a scale. The uncomplicated explanation for this is that you do not weight the same throughout a day. The metabolic functions of your body fluctuate and so does your weight. Adults can vary by two kilograms and children older than three; can vary by as much as one kilogram.

curative Scales ability in treatment

The digital technology of the new years combined with electronic advances plainly filtered into the development of the now customary digital scale. As suppose to the mechanical scale, the digital scale offered a greater degree of precision that lead to dissimilar technologies being incorporated. Some digital scales such as those from Seca, are using a tuning fork sensor to gain its readings, in comparison to mechanical scales using counter weight or pressure weight mechanisms.

The capability of the healing scales on the shop today remarkably sophisticated, even for the lighter models not heavy in features such as retention a description of a series of weigh ins to chart progress, the power in the smaller healing scales invested in it's accuracy and reliability.

curative Scales ability in treatment

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Stop Struggling With Food and Weight Obsession - Tip #1 - Break the Habit of Scale Hopping

Some people feel compelled to weigh themselves daily, maybe only once every morning or several times while the policy of each day. They may do it in an endeavor to make themselves feel good or whether they know it or not, they often do it as an act of sabotage production themselves feel bad. That behavior promotes stress and creates feelings of obsession colse to food and your weight, which keeps you resenting and hating your body. When you feel badly about yourself, a binge is commonly just colse to the corner.

My Scale Hopping Experience

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When I was a dieter, I used to play the scale game all the time. Each day I would make a habit of getting on and off my bathroom scale in various states of dress and undress, before/after meals, and dare I say it, after each time I went to the bathroom. It drove me nuts! My constant scale hopping was like playing the lottery. Every day I would climb on the scale wishing and hoping for a lower estimate and no matter how much I swore to myself it wouldn't work on my mood, it always did.

Stop Struggling With Food and Weight Obsession - Tip #1 - Break the Habit of Scale Hopping

If my weight was down, it gave me unconscious permission to eat in celebration. If my weight was up, the pangs of guilt from overeating would put the squeeze on me to slim down, which increased my stress level. Depending upon which way it went, I whether begrudgingly recommitted back to losing weight by tightening the belt and depriving myself more of the foods I loved or looking a weight gain would often be adequate to send me screaming like a banshee to the kitchen to dive headfirst into the nearest package of Ben and Jerry's mint oreo cookie ice cream. Yet I never understood how the scale sabotaged me until I started to investigate what is known as the mind body connection. That's when I started to convert many of my weight watching habits and began to learn how to live, eat and think like a plainly slender woman.

The Mind Body Connection

There is a connection in the middle of your mind and body that can whether make you sick or keep you well. Your thoughts can whether make you fat or thin. The option is yours! Dr. Nancy Bonios is the inventor of the Beyond Dieting Program, a non diet weight operate regimen that teaches the importance of changing your thoughts and behaviors to reshape your body as you learn to eat anything you want in response to your bodily hunger. Dr Bonios says that as a dieter your mind is issuing all the wrong commands instructing your body to do what you don't want; stay fat. Constantly monitoring your weight on the scale keeps you mental like a fat someone and you can't be thin if you're mental fat. It is a constant reminder that you're still fat.

It's no underground that diets don't work and with investigate showing that up to 98% of all diets fail, it's confirmation that the route of deprivation doesn't work. Most people who have spent years dieting have industrialized negative feelings and self images. Your self image is the picture that you have of yourself that determines what you are willing to do. It works much like a thermostat, in that it keeps you within a determined comfort zone. This finally determines your success in every area of your life.

In order to break the mold and effectively convert your negative and dis-empowering beliefs about food and your body, you have to invent new habits that will lead to generating behaviors that make you feel safe colse to food and at ease with your body.

Climbing on a scale will only light up your fat circuit board and keep you stuck in the old rut of mental like a fat person. To break out of that fat trap, Here are several reasons why you must stop weight watching and scale hopping:

Scales don't' always portion progress maybe the most upsetting part of weighing yourself is that the estimate on the scale does not accurately portion your progress. Scales only portion the pull of gravity on mass. It doesn't accurately show the size or density of the mass it's measuring. A pound of feathers and a pound of lead both weigh the same but the pound of feathers takes up a large estimate of space and adequate volume to fill an entire pillow case. A pound of lead can fit legitimately in the palm of your hand. The truth is you may only need to lose a relatively small estimate of weight to get down to your ideal size. I don't know why this is so but it is. In the Beyond Dieting program Dr. Nancy Bonios recounts a story sharing her sense saying, "I personally went down from a size 13/14 down to a 5/6 and in the process, I only lost 10 pounds.

Weight fluctuates It's natural for your weight to go up and down all the time. It can vary as much as ten pounds up or down, depending upon time of month, water retention, hormones, environmental factors and even atmospheric pressure.

Scale Stress Weighing yourself is a tasteless form of self sabotage since it is a way of creating stress in your body, which hooks you right back into the diet mentality, giving you a constant reminder that you're still overweight and production you feel helpless. This marvelous emotional message "I'm fat" overrides any improve that you've been production in attempting to convert your thoughts.

Tap into your body's wisdom plainly slim people never weigh themselves and therefore probably have no idea of their weight. This is because they don't rely on an external authority to tell them how to operate their eating. They have a peaceful, balanced and healthy connection with food and they are guided to eat by listening to their bodies.

Take it easy. convert is never easy. To avoid the natural resistance that comes with wanting to make any convert in your life, it's best to be as diplomatic as possible with yourself. By getting on the scale, you create unnecessary stress and tension and sabotage your progress. Dr. Bonios says, "permanent convert requires a atmosphere of love and nurturing, not self loathing and disgust. Take my advice, and step away from the scale. 

Stop Struggling With Food and Weight Obsession - Tip #1 - Break the Habit of Scale Hopping

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